I thought I would be over comparing myself to other people by now. I really, truly believed that was something only junior high kids did and when I was “grown up” I would stop worrying about what other people were or weren’t doing. As I approach my 36th birthday, I discover it is not so. I see attributes in other people that I admire and often want to emulate, and that can be a really good thing. There are people who have already been where I’m going and have weathered the storms of this life quite well. I want to learn from them, but does that mean I have to be just like them? I'm realizing that's what I truly believe, even though I know it to be wrong. We talk so much about being unique, created one-of-a-kind by the Creator of all things, special and unlike anyone else. Why then do we spend so much time trying to be like everyone else? I hear a song and think, “I like that song. Why don’t my songs sound like that one?” Or I hear a voice I like, or read a book that is exceptionally well-written, or watch a movie with a great plot, or see a mother handling her children with such care and immediately I begin to compare. I wish my voice sounded like that, I wish I could come up with good ideas like those, I wish I were more nurturing like she is…the list goes on. And don’t even get me started on body image –that’s a whole different post in and of itself. Can anyone relate? What do I have to do to be good with who I am and what I do? So I’m not perfect – now that myth has been busted, we can move on. I want to reach a place in life where I actually like who I am and what I do. What I produce may not look anything like what anyone else has ever done before, and at some point I need to move beyond jr. high and say that’s okay - maybe even call it good.
(If you've already graduated from this jr. high mentality, I'll take whatever scraps of wisdom you want to toss to me. I'll be waiting under the table.)
Instead of comparing, I want to see the contrasting of lives as good and worthwhile. I want to see how the contrasts highlight the features previously unseen in each unique object, idea, or creation. Artists use contrasting elements to create interest or drama in a piece. They use contrast to hone in on a specific focal point. Maybe God uses the contrasts in us to bring into better focus the main idea of this life – Jesus Christ and His saving grace. Learning to embrace the contrasts, even encourage them, not in opposition to unity but in order to perfect it, and bring to the forefront of this masterpiece the true Center.
ooooooohhhhh! I can SO relate to this blog post. I've lived my life BEING compared to someone (for many years a twin) and it's hard not to do it myself. During a conversation with a friend yesterday I realized just how warped my self perception is.
ReplyDeleteI like the juxtaposition of comparing and contrasting. NICE.
(Critical comments coming later. Like in my next lifetime when I come back as a thoughtful and deep person.)
Someone once challenged me to ponder the notion that the more we talk to ourselves (head talk) or about ourselves negatively, we are creating a concept, which, whether true or not, must be considered. The more we repeat these concepts, the more they are likely to be believed, by ourselves, and others (even if it's not really the truth). So, if you DON'T ALLOW the concept to be considered in the first place....
ReplyDeleteSo true, so true. O for the day when knowing what is true and actually living it are intertwined!
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