A Picture of Friendship

We bought a new house last summer. June will mark the one year anniversary of our living in this new house. When I say “new” what I really mean is new to us, as the house was built in 1965 and still looks very much like it belongs in the 60’s. Sadly enough for the neighbors (who are wonderful, by the way), we have spent the past year working to bring the inside of the house into the 21st century. This means the outside is still shining like the 1965 star it is. While I’m sure it was a beautiful home in 1965, it is not very attractive in 2011, and we have plans to reinvent the exterior at some point. I spend most of my time inside the house, which is why we worked on it first. Sorry, Valley Court neighbors.

Part of the landscaping that existed was a bed of white rocks all along the front of the house. One of my friends (you know who you are) immediately called the rock feature out as one that significantly dates the exterior, and explained that was an easy fix. Simply remove the rocks, she said. Simple enough, coming from someone who really truly enjoys gardening and landscaping and all that yard work I really truly despise. Part of the joy I found in renting was we didn’t have to do much yard work at all. I might have rented the rest of my life based on that one fact, but Bill delights in yard work so I conceded and we bought a house. I still despise any type of yard work. (Don’t even get me started on Bill’s need to have all the acorns picked up in the fall. While shoveling snow is my part time job in the winter, acorn clean-up is my full time job in the fall. Did I mention I despise yard work? Just checking.)

Back to the rocks. As the weather has been progressively getting nicer, I was able to spend a bit of time sitting in the corner of my front porch soaking up the spring sun. And that’s when I looked over and saw what’s left of the rocks. I say what’s left because I did finally get around to removing some of them last summer, at the end of the summer, or really in the fall if I remember correctly (when I wasn’t picking up acorns, which wasn’t very often, which is probably why I didn’t finish the job). The reason I spent the entire summer looking at the rocks and not moving them until the fall is because I just couldn’t bring myself to do the job. I don’t know why, I just couldn’t. At least not until my friend (not the same one who gave the original advice to move them) came over and said, “I’ll help you move your rocks.” It was like the dark skies separated and the light broke through my white rock cloud! A savior had emerged, willing to help me with my utterly overwhelming task. These are the moments in life when I stop and realize that for all the ways I believe myself to be highly competent and capable, I really am just a sloppy mess who needs people tremendously. My friend knew it, and she didn’t mention it, she just offered to help me with the task that seemed impossible to me. Don’t ask me why moving the rocks seemed impossible, it just did. So the next day she came over, dressed in her best yard work attire (another one who loves getting her hands in the soil and cultivating the ground and all that unappealing dirty stuff), and we got to work. Suddenly this task was not impossible anymore. I could move the rocks because my friend was there to help me. I must tell you it was really hard work. We had to shovel the rocks into a wheelbarrow and wheel them down to another neighbor’s driveway. (We weren’t secretly ditching them on the unsuspecting neighbors – they really did want them.) We spent hours moving these stupid rocks and only dealt with half of them, but we got the job started, which was more than I had been able to do myself.

I sat on my porch considering the fact that while I still had rocks to move, the ones that were indeed gone were gone because my friend saw that I had a need – someone to help me move the rocks – and she stepped in to help. Friendship is seeing where people need help, whether it seems reasonable to need the help or not, and coming alongside to provide it. Friendship is carrying loads of rocks in the heat of the afternoon just because you know your friend needs you. Friendship is seeing where your friends are lacking and filling in the gaps with your gifts, your efforts, or maybe even just your time. I have other friends who might never come over and haul rocks with me, but they will come over and haul other burdens. And I have still others who will tell me what needs to go, whether it be concerning landscaping or Sherriscaping. These tasks don't always get completed in a timely manner, but these friends don't base their involvment on that fact.  Sometimes I just need help in getting the process started.  These are true friends and I don't know where I'd be without them.  Probably laying beneath pile of rocks somewhere, unable to move myself or the rocks!

Thanks for each one of you that help me carry my rocks in this life. You are a beautiful picture of friendship.