Anniversaries

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. Bill and I committed ourselves to one another 13 years ago today and man has it been a wild ride since then. I think back to this day 13 years ago and am in awe of who we were compared to who we are today. Some of you reading this knew us then, some of you didn’t, but you’ve all probably heard stories along the way.  We sat on our patio last night after the boys went to bed, just talking and enjoying each other’s company, and realized that while we’ve been married 13 years we've  been together for almost 17. That’s just shy of half our lives. We’ve spent almost half our lives as a couple. What a wild thought. It’s not that we didn’t know these numbers; we just don’t have time to reflect on them most days so it’s nice to have an anniversary to do just that – reflect. I guess that’s what anniversaries are about, reflecting on the ups and downs of whatever relationship celebrated. But our anniversary always falls around mother’s day, which adds another element all together. Another anniversary of sorts - an opportunity to reflect on the relationship of a mother. So I was standing in church yesterday singing songs of worship and praise, and suddenly became overwhelmed with gratitude once again. The line that struck me was “You are the God who saves us/worthy of all our praises” and it hit me like a ton of bricks – He saved me, and all my relationships with me. I know that seems very elementary to many, but I stood there with my boys on either side of me, holding Bill’s hand, 13 years after we said, “I do” and I was overcome once again by the transforming power of Jesus in my life. 13 years ago I couldn’t even step foot in a church without being so high I couldn’t see straight. I looked around and saw my family and friends and was struck with the reality that I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve these beautiful boys who are healthy and strong and call me Mom, I don’t deserve a husband who’s still madly in love with me after 17 years of craziness, I don’t deserve friends who love me in spite of my persistent craziness, I definitely don’t deserve the strong friendship I share with my mom, and I certainly don’t deserve a God who saved me from all of the mess I created– who saved me from myself.

But God, in His great love for me…

Overwhelmed can’t begin to describe my feeling in that moment.

God’s goodness is unbelievable, and yet here I am, 13 years later with a stronger marriage than ever, with a husband who truly thinks the world of me, with a better relationship to my mom than I ever thought possible, and with the gift of being Mom to beautiful Max and Charlie.

I wish I could take credit for these changes and blessings in my life, but I can’t. All I did was realize I was lost and reach out for the hand that had been so long reaching for me. That’s it, and now I have all sorts of anniversaries to celebrate.

Thank you, Bill, for 13 years of love and strength and security and fun. Thank you, Mom for a lifetime love and support and encouragement and forgiveness. Thank you, boys, for letting me be mom to you even when I stink at it. Thank you, friends, for seeing me through so many dark times and being the light-bearers in my life. And especially thank you, God, for your relentless pursuit and your everlasting love. You are the God who saves me, worthy of all my praises.