Shutting Down

Today is a shutting down day for me. Have you ever had a shut-down day? What I mean is, I literally feel like I’m caving in on myself. Gravity has taken over and I'm being pulled down and in.

I woke up late (7:30 instead of 7) and felt scattered most of the morning. I was able to handle all the usual responsibilities with the boys – feeding and clothing them and getting them to school on time – but my head wasn’t really there. I dressed for the gym, my plan being to drop the boys at school, get to the last 15 or 20 minutes of prayer meeting, and then go workout.

I made it to school and back home.

I read some of Ecclesiastes which was not terribly helpful in my moment of clouded thinking, and then proceeded to the couch to pray. As I prayed I found my prayers to be almost as skittish as the squirrels I watched run up and down the trees out my window. Yes, I was watching the squirrels while I was praying. (I told you I was scattered.) I found myself praying random things in no particular order and with very little concise thought. Not my usual way of prayer, but this does not seem to be a usual day. I actually found myself uttering something to the effect of “God, I pray for everyone everywhere.” What?
I know there are numerous situations in the lives of friends and family that need prayer today but I can’t seem to put any of them out. There is something going on inside me and I can’t put my figurative finger on it. No, I’m not depressed – maybe just needing some introspection.

I’m grateful I have been afforded the opportunity to shut down. I will purpose to use the caving in to explore the deeper recesses, the hidden places of my inner parts, with the hope that I’ll come out on the other side with all my limbs still intact and maybe a little more clarity.

I would like to hope that everyone has time for a shut down day now and again. If you haven’t in a while, find some time to do it. Maybe it’s not a whole day, maybe it’s just an hour. But use it to shut down and tune in. It might be interesting what you find.