Rhythms pound
Constant motion of sound
Lulling the breathless back to sleep.
Placated dreams wander down
Twisted streets, searching
For spaces to settle in.
Black as melted skin
Clinging to what was
And what could
Never be.
“Taste and see!” the medicine men scream
from high and lofty places
from low and desolate spaces.
“Taste and see!” they cry from
screens boards windows books
“Taste and see!”
But it is
not
good.
It’s all broken.
Put away the tools you brought
These holes have been bought
Never to be filled
Never concealed.
Holes fill the skies
Empty, dark
Tear bleeding souls apart.
It’s all broken.
Who can fix it? Who?
And the medicine men yell from
Street corners and high rises
“Taste and see!”
But it is
not
good.
One comes, not crying
not screaming to be heard
Only calling
to Fix
Heal
Restore.
Quiet in his voice
And burning in his eyes.
Wounds won’t mar his countenance
and mercy overwhelms those near.
touch, smell, hear,
taste and see
It is Good.
The medicine men calling,
And True Healing is here.
Taste and see…
Taste, and See…
Awesome... I Love it, girl.
ReplyDeletethe word pictures are really nice...at points, i felt like i was reading lyrics to a song...and at other points, it was a stream of consciousness...
ReplyDeletei think the base you've started with is quite good...another rewrite to tighten the continuity and you will have a piece that leaves people with their mouths hanging open.
"These holes have been bought
Never to be filled
Never concealed.
Holes fill the skies"
very nice...
lost me at the next line...different picture and the jump was drastic...
"“Taste and see!” the medicine men scream
from high and lofty places
from low and desolate spaces.
“Taste and see!” they cry from
screens boards windows books
“Taste and see!”
But it is
not
good."
also...very rhythmic...and a wonderful word picture...i can smell the grit of the city.
you have a couple of word pictures you have painted that are very powerful...tho i think that the focus shifts a little in mid-thought...
'The medicine men calling,
And True Healing is here.' there's a huge opportunity here. i was left salivating for more...
this is a really nice start. :D
~rk
That was absolutely amazing. Thoroughly enjoyed every bit of it. Especially with Bruce's dramatic reading to me. :)
ReplyDelete